Like An Upside Down Lawn Mower

This is a picture of one of my best friends.
His name is RAY.

And here is one of the headlines on CNN today:

I had no idea Ray was such a
POWERFUL and AGGRESSIVE swimmer.

That poor woman should have protected herself and taken notes from
THE LADY IN THE OTHER RIDICULOUS HEADLINE...

One letter away and that "Rat" becomes "Ray" which indicates
that Ray went on some water based killing spree, killing women
in the ocean and then shooting up the sewer line to kill again.

I actually didn't notice that last headline until I posted the first one.
I was just about to log out when I looked down and saw it.
Really CNN? Killer toilet rats? Front page national news? REALLY!?!??!
WITH VIDEO, TOO.

"...and then the bastard just swooped down on me like a God damn DRACULA BAT! And he was THIS CLOSE to my face, tryin' to rip my head off or somethin'. So I hit him with my guitar and jumped off the Delaware bridge to escape. Now we're the best dang friends in the WORLD."