i have not been able to think clearly lately.
or perhaps i've NEVER been able to think clearly
and i've just gotten lucky getting ANYTHING
done at all.
i feel like i'm trapped under a thin sheet of gauze,
in a room full of cotton balls.
i can see things in front of me, but not clearly.
i grab at masses but nothing is grounded.
there's nothing to hold onto.
when i breathe,
bits of fuzz fill my mouth.
even in the face of good fortune,
an open door,
i seem to keep banging on the wall
as if more doors may open.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
i'm in love
with a god damn ghost.