I've blogged about this before... but I must say, I LOVE going to Walmart at midnight. I can't handle Walmart during the day, there's simply too much sweat, too many people, and too many BARGAINS. But at NIGHT, ahhhhh, it's a different animal entirely. All the creatures have been tranquilized and everyone appears as if they just crawled up from the bottom of the sea floor.
Tonight, I witnessed a basket full of wonderful moments. While taking a shortcut through the men's clothing section, I came across two Mexican men yelling at each other, each tugging on a single package of underwear. And in the parking lot I saw a 16 year old girl splashing around in a gross puddle of water by herself. Soon thereafter, I saw her large mother come barreling out of a mini van screaming, "DAMN IT! GET OUT OF THAT WATER, MARCI! NOW!". In the pharmaceutical section I saw a tough looking cowboy with extremely pointy boots smelling moisturizer and in the pet section I saw a clerk accidentally rip open a 50 pound bag of dog food, spill it all over the aisle, and then just walk away.
The Midnight Walmart Masquerade.
Sometimes you just have to sit back and relish the American monster. We are a nation of tubby Caligulas, and like some sick and twisted Svengali that's been staring into the mirror a bit too long, I've taught myself to enjoy watching the waterfall weave into the wastewater.
And though I may speak as if I'm separate from this creature,
lord knows I've done my share.
Heck, as much as any of us try to polish it,
we're still just one, big
when you look at it under a microscope,
some parts might be a tad rustier than others.