If you come closer than an earshot of a mattress salesman
while you're in the market for a fancy mattress
be wary of running your mouth too much.
A savvy mattress salesman will secretary your dialogue
and use it against you like he's Alger Hiss in a pumpkin patch.
And when it comes time to hack down the price
with whatever words you've cut on your bargaining axe,
that savvy mattress salesman will fire right back
and say something to the effect of:
"What do you mean you can't afford the Tempurpedic?
Aren't you having steak and lobster for dinner?"
"No, my clever mattress salesman, no
you must be mistaken.
We're just having plain, old, stale taco shells tonight.
No meat. No cheese. Just can't afford it."