how to be an artist

first, get a #2 pencil and a piece of paper.
draw a vertical line, straight down the
middle of the paper.
now fold the paper on the line.
now draw a large circle
in the middle of the paper.
fill in the circle with the pencil.
now wad up the paper and break the pencil
and curse your loss of creativity.
now dramatically stare out the window
and think about past lovers.
now avoid going to the dentist.
now spend all of your money on
stuffed animals, substance abuse and tools.
now scoff at a guy in a Ferrari.
now save all your bottle caps for a year and
then forget why you were doing that.
now clean out the front part of the fridge,
but leave the things in the back,
now shove a bunch of shit under the bed.
wear clothes that are simultaneously
too young for your age and too old for your age.
and keep a dusty guitar somewhere.
now shout really loud in your car or in
the shower, just to make the voices stop.
then learn to weld,
and then never weld anything, ever.
now find that wadded up piece of paper in the trash,
pull it out and hold it up to the light
and reminisce about
how creative you used to be.