How To Repel Kids
in a robe, i stood in my front yard and smoked, watching loose aluminum cans blow with the leaves. then i heard spokes. rhythm. flickering spokes. bicycles. kids approaching. that's no good. something must be done. i smoked. i leaned against the chain link. i nabbed the lawnmower. i ripped it. i started it up. i flipped it over. i flipped it over on its back. i smoked and coughed with the motor. it staggered. bolts scraped the concrete. i watched its blades spin sharp. second hands stirring dirt and dander. sucking it all in. sucking my exhaust. we smoked together. sputtering. screaming with bloodshot eyes. sputtering. choking. screaming. "this isn't a lawnmower anymore. this will kill you." the upside down lawnmower. chopping squirrels and scaring kids. fighting, spitting, and scratching the pavement all in one jerky, violent, rusty, mechanical seizure. until finally... fuel flooded the engine and in a puff, the awkward struggle came to an end. and the kids were gone.
yes. the kids were gone.
in the classroom i will shape their young minds,
but after 3:00
fuckers better stay away from me.
things aren't right here.